Are there people in your past or present whom you feel wronged you? When you think about them, are you happy? Sad? Angry? Livid?
Today’s K-LOVE Love Dare Day 25 challenge tells us to free ourselves from this type of prison. How do we do that? By forgiving these people – and ourselves.
It cannot just be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put into practice. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage won’t.
K-LOVE says this is the hardest challenge we’ll face in this Love Dare. Now, I don’t know about you, but for me, this isn’t too much of a challenge. Do I get upset when someone wrongs me? Of course. Do I rant about it for awhile? Often. Does it irritate me and frustrate me? Sure.
But, do I hold a personal grudge against that person? Do I feel my blood boil when I think about them and what they’ve done to me? No. Usually, I just feel sad and sorry for them that they felt the need to act that way. How about you? How do you react when someone wrongs you?
The Love Dare talks about the inability to forgive as a prison.
As you look around, you see a number of cells visible from where you’re standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there – people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point in life. You might see one or both of your parents there, perhaps a brother or sister or some other family member. Even your spouse is locked in nearby, trapped with all the others in this jail of your own making.
This prison, you see, is a room in your own heart. This dark, drafty, depressing chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away, Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate.
No. You don’t want any part of it. These people have hurt you too badly. They knew what they were doing and yet they did it anyway – even your spouse, the one you should have been able to count on most of all. So you resist and turn away. You’re unwilling to stay here any longer – seeing Jesus, seeing the key in His hand, knowing what He’s asking you to do. It’s just too much.
But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way out. You’re trapped inside with all other captives. Your unforgiveness, anger, and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well. …you have chosen not to forgive… Your freedom is now dependent on your forgiveness.
Can you do it? Can you release the weight you’ve been carrying around?
We see all kinds of dangers and risks involved in forgiving others… But forgiveness doesn’t absolve anyone of blame. It doesn’t clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you’re not turning them loose. You’re just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way.
It’s about freedom. It’s about letting go.
So, how do you know if you’ve really forgiven them?
You know it when the thought of their name or the sight of their face – rather than causing your blood to boil – causes you to feel sorry for them instead, to pity them, to genuinely hope they get this turned around.
Today’s dare: Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to ‘forgive us our debts’ each day, we must ask Him to help us ‘forgive our debtors’ each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, ‘I choose to forgive.’
Whom will you forgive today? Sometimes it starts with forgiving yourself. Just remember: God will deal with the unjust so you don’t have to. Let me know how it goes.
Image credit: kalilo
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