You may have wondered why I haven’t written much during the past year and a half. And I decided it was time to share what’s been going on in my life.
A confession
This is hard for me. And yet, I feel it’s important to talk about it. My husband and I of 16 years recently went our separate ways. I’m now a single woman again. No longer a wife. Simply a woman and a mother.
The positive thing is that he and I are still friends – just as we were when we were married – if not more so. We actually talk more and share more now than we did then. During the past several years of our marriage, communication was limited to utilitarian-based statements: What do you want for dinner? What activities does our son have coming up? Have we paid the bills? Etc.
That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less. We were simply roommates. Definitely not husband and wife.
Now? Now we speak about more important things, and share aspects of our lives with one another. In a way, this has been the best thing to happen to our relationship in a decade.
A difficult decision
This decision was not one I took lightly. As a Christian, I don’t believe in divorce. Ironic, right? And so I began to truly analyze what was going on in our relationship. Could it be repaired? Could we find the love we once shared? After much personal introspection, prayer, more prayer and, yes, a little more prayer, it was clear to me that, no, the love was no longer what it needed to be – for a marriage.
And I just don’t believe God would want us to continue in marriage just so we could say we stayed married. What type of role models would we be for our son if we continued in that fashion? He should see what true love can be. What a happy marriage can look like.
In the end, I just couldn’t believe that a just and fair God wouldn’t forgive me for wanting to be happy for the next 50+ years of my life. So, in faith, I moved forwarded. We parted ways, amicably, and with our son’s best interests in mind.
That was a little more than a year ago.
A new chapter begins
And while the path has had its challenges, my son has adapted well, as have my ex and I.
Please don’t view this post as encouragement of divorce. It is not. If I’d honestly believed I could have loved my ex the way I should love a husband, I would have done everything in my power to rekindle that flame. Sadly, that just wasn’t meant to be for me.
And so begins a new chapter in my life. I hope those of you who, like me, don’t believe in the idea of divorce, will find it in your hearts to accept this choice I’ve made, as I have. And, as always, please feel free to share your common grounds.
Common Grounds 