Day 12 Dare: Let your spouse win.

Oh boy. This is definitely going to be a challenge. The K-LOVE Love Dare Day 12 challenge is about being the bigger person in your marriage – and they’re not talking about height or weight.

Unfortunately, stubbornness comes as a standard feature on both husband and wife models. Defending your rights and opinions is a foundational part of your nature and make-up. It’s detrimental, though, inside a marriage relationship, and it steals away time and productivity. It can also cause great frustration for both of you.

Luckily for me, my hubby is good at giving in. There aren’t too many things that he feels so strongly about that he’s willing to dig in his heels. That’s a good thing, because there are several things I am passionate about and for which I would dig in my heels. Huh. Wonder why that is?

Granted, being stubborn is not always bad. Some things are worth standing up for and protecting. Our priorities, morals, and obedience to God should be guarded with great effort. But too often we debate over piddly things, like the color of wall paint or the choice of restaurants.

Other times, of course, the stakes are much higher. One of you would like more children; the other doesn’t. One of you wants to vacation with your extended family; the other doesn’t. One of you wants to vacation with your extended family; the other doesn’t. One of you prefers home-schooling your kids; the other doesn’t. One of you thinks it’s time for marriage counseling or to get more involved in a church, while the other doesn’t.

So what do we do when we face these stalemates? How do we resolve them and move beyond them?

…by finding a word that’s the opposite of stubbornness…That word is “willing.” It’s an attitude and spirit of cooperation that should permeate our conversations. It’s like a palm tree by the ocean that endures the greatest winds because it knows how to gracefully bend.

…the attitude of willingness, flexibility, and humble submission…means laying down for the good of others what you have the right to claim for yourself.

Wow. In theory, I get it. But, boy is this hard to do in actuality. I’m someone who believes wholeheartedly in my passions and beliefs. And, when they’re questioned, I have a hard time backing down. It’s as if the other person is saying, “Your opinion isn’t valid. You’re stupid, and you don’t know what you’re talking about. You haven’t thought it through.”

How about you? Do you willingly give in to what others want? Or do you stick to your guns?

Today’s dare: Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell him or her you are putting their preference first.

Image credit: Lukas

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