Day 4 Dare: Be Thoughtful

Taking the KLOVE Love Dare challenge has definitely not been easy. But I have found that I’m more mindful of the choices I make and the things I say before I say them. How about you? How is your challenge coming?

Today’s challenge? Be thoughtful.

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Okay. Now, this is something I can do easily. Yay! My spouse and I frequently call one another during the work week to see how things are going for the other and simply converse for five minutes over the lunch hour. It helps us remember that there’s more to each of us than our jobs. That we have a spouse, a family and a life outside of work. This is key to remaining grounded.

Here’s some of the background for today’s challenge:

When you first fell in love, you spent hours dreaming of what your loved one looked like, wondering what he or she was doing, rehearsing impressive things to say, then enjoying sweet memories of the time you spent together.

But for most couples, things begin to change after marriage…Sparks of romance slowly burn into grey embers, and the motivation for thoughtfulness cools. You drift into focusing on [other things]. After a while, you unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your mate.

…Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship.

The dare goes on to explain how men and women were designed to complement one another, but that this often means there’s ample room for misunderstandings and frustrations. For example, men “tend to think in headlines and say exactly what they mean,” while women “think and speak between the lines.” Like this isn’t something we already know, right?

This also explains why women will get upset with their husbands without telling them why. In her mind she’s thinking, ‘I shouldn’t have to spell it out for him. He should be able to look at the situation and see what’s going on here.’ At the same time, he’s grieved because he can’t read her mind and wonders why he’s being punished for a crime he didn’t know he committed.

Uh…sound familiar to anyone but me?

Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks…Love thinks before speaking. It filters words through a grid of truth and kindness.

Again…more thinking before acting. Are you sensing a theme?

I do know that when I remember to say exactly what I mean – maybe more straightforward than in my comfort zone – my husband doesn’t have to figure out what I’m hinting at, and things go much more smoothly. What will you do to be more thoughtful toward your spouse, child, parent or friend today? Let me know.

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